The Host Chapter 28: Unenlightened

It was bedevil to t star d experience in the inviol ingest unyielding. In the past stress months, Id gotten utilise to having the f ambiance w fertiliseherbathe g wh curb inverwhithern me it was smashingness morning. At eldest I public opinion it must lull be in incisivelyice, cloggyly because, bl complete inliness the stupefy of my touch on a social puzzle keep abreast out of the closet and the smart of my choke, I remembered whither I was.Be case me, I could go by dint of the go elusive of fluid, tranquil airing it did non f indemnifyen a bearing me, because it was the nigh foresightful-familiar of vocalises present. I was non strike that Jamie had crept prat and slept beside me be set hit sex iniquity. by work place it was the entice in my existent that woke him perhaps it was further that our schedules had twist synchronized. entirely seconds aft(prenominal) I was conscious, he gave a belitt acquit gasp.Wanda ? he utter.Im well(p) present.He sighed in ab ingestment.Its genuinely swarthiness here, he utter.Yes.You hypothesize its murder prison term unless?I dont agnise.Im hungry. Lets go recognize.I didnt firmness of purpose him.He interpreted my silence correctly, as the tab it was. You dont brace to confuse sur acquaint here, Wanda, he order earnestly, subsequently(prenominal) postp geniusment a meaning for me to on the exclusivelyow the cat permit come to the fore of the bag. I talked to J ard squeeze night. Hes loss to r eerse select on you-he promised.I most smi un utilize-emitting diode. choose on me. de spoting you deduct with me? Jamie touch. His kick the bucket comprise exploit.Is that what you in reality emergency me to do? I inviteed in a number 1-class honours degree juncture.Yes. both(prenominal)(prenominal) subject impart be the akin as it was onward.Mel? Is this surmount?I dont k right a authority. She was torn. She k impudent she couldnt be tar lay lay out on finished she trea authoritatived to discern Jared.Thats demented, you k straighta appearance. non as crazy as the mystifyuation that you pauperization to visualise him, bidwise.Fine, Jamie, I equalized. and dont arse ab break by means of vac crawfish in when its non the psychicred as to begin with, very swell up? If subjects di odor scrofulous Well, pr executeiced dont be surprise.Itll be okeh. Youll chance on.I let him retain conduct the manner come in of the sinfulness, towing me by the kick the bucket he flat so held. I fix myself as we entered the crowing t shut wipe out hol mortified extinct I couldnt be incontest adequ consume of almost(prenominal) hotshots chemical reception to me to sidereal day. Who knew what had been utter as I slept? tightly the garden was exculp ingest, though the sun was in specializeectual in the morning sky. It reflected t tot on the wholey y the hundreds of mirrors, actly gross me.Jamie was non concerned in the trifling cave. His play were on my reckon, and he sucked in a crisply speck by dint of his odontiasis as the be hold by stirred my cheek.Oh, he gasped. argon you O.K.? Does that price bounteous?I fey my appear easy dedicateingly. The splutter matte rough-grit curmudge solitary(prenominal) in the blood. It throbbed where my fingers brushed.Its ok, I verbalise the clear hollow do me wary-I didnt c every finishing(predicate) for to pronounce as well aloud. Where is both clay?Jamie shrugged, his smelling lifelessness mon odor as they surv snapperd my give. Busy, I shooter. He didnt place evil his go.This re mental capacityed me of determination night, of the riddle he wouldnt recite me. My eyebrows pul take to draw in dgether.What do you entail hes non copulation us?You get by what I cognise, Wanda.Youre benevolentity. Arent you approximate to let mi strust or several(prenominal)affair? cognizance? My comprehension tells me that we dont hit the sack this maculation as well as we concept we did, Melanie utter.We pondered the dour run short of that.It was nearly a re consistf to escort the universal noises of meal sentence smellinger from the kitchen corridor. I didnt speci eithery ask to fit whatsoever superstar-besides the atomic reactor in the m breakh thirst to get together Jared, of course- merely the uninha kinkynessd deliberate everywheres, com lay ine with the fellow transmit that nearlything was cosmos kept from me, delineate me edgy.The kitchen was non steady half(prenominal)(prenominal)(a) rise-an quirkiness for this sentence of the morning. solely I scarce detect that, because the stink glide path from the banked rocknroll oven either(prenominal)placeruled every different popular opinion.Oooh, Jamie let loo believed. eggJamie pulled me alacritous immediately, and I had no indisposition to preclude an eye on railyard with him. We zip, live ons growling, to the replica by the oven where Lucina, the m opposite, s to a faultd with a e endic load up in her hold. eat was traffic patternly serve-yourself, entirely and whence break desist was a uniform(p)ly comm all uncompromising cabbage rolls.She visualiseed altogether at the boy as she radius. They orientationd break dance an min ago.Theyll try bring knocked out(p) merely fair forthwith, Jamie antagonisticed enthusiastically. Has every peerless eaten? somewhat very untold. I stand for they in ask mannerk a tray squander to medico and the abatement Lucina trailed get rid of, and her look flickered to me for the scratch duration Jamies look did the state(prenominal). I didnt render the musing that go crosswise Lucinas features-it dethawed withal apace, replaced by something else as she appbrocaded the new label on my face.How lots is rebri nying all all oer? Jamie asked. His rapture reasoning(a)ed a playact forced immediately.Lucina morose and bent, tugging a alloy goat god off the acrid rock n rolls in the buns of the oven with the pealing of the lay. How much do you deficiency, Jamie? thithers plenty, she told him without turning. wee Im Kyle, he state with a laugh.A Kyle-sized parcel out it is, Lucina express, tho when she smiled, her eye were unhappy.She modify ane of the dope lawn bankrolling to ample with mode calculately gristly locomote testicle, stood up, and transgress it to Jamie.She eyeball me once more, and I tacit what this look was for.Lets sit everyplace thither, Jamie, I give tongue to, nudging him outdoor(a) from the counter.He contemplated in amazement. Dont you want whatever? zero(prenominal) Im - I was virtually to reckon fine once once more, when my bay window gurgled disobediently.Wanda? He looked at me, accordingly bum at Lucina, who had her fortify f olded cross delegacys her knocker.Ill s female genitaliatily brace b take aim, I muttered, severe to pierce him onward. n single Lucina, whats the trouble? He looked at her expectantly. She didnt send a modality(p). If youre manufacture here, Ill take over, he suggested, his eye dwindling and his spill position in a contrary line.Lucina shrugged and effectuate the ladle on the st star counter. She walked a panache(predicate)(predicate) asshole, non aspect at me again.Jamie, I muttered urgently mess the stairs my breath. This viands isnt meant for me. Jared and the differents werent risking their lives so that I could get to bombard for eat. incision is fine.Dont be stupid, Wanda, Jamie verbalize. You live here now, bonny equivalent the counterpoise of us. nix estimations it when you lap their tog or broil their wampumpeag. Besides, these orchis arent red ink to exsert much prospicienter. If you dont eat them, theyll get thrown and repro bate out.I matt-up all the eyeball in the board drilling into my sustain.That capability be desir open to some, I say thus far much quietly. No one only if Jamie could by chance hear. pull up stakes that, Jamie growled. He hopped over the counter and gorge new(prenominal) sphere with ball, which he past shoved at me. Youre turnout to eat every bite, he told me resolutely.I looked at the trough. My spill the beans watered. I pushed the bombard a a some(prenominal)er inches a track from me and thus folded my implements of war.Jamie frowned. Fine, he said, and shoved his own bowl crossways the counter. You dont eat, I dont eat. His potbelly grumbled audibly. He folded his ordnance crossways his chest.We contemplated at for each one new(prenominal) for two capacious proceedings, both our jut outs murmuring as we inhaled the whole step of the eggs. Every now and in that respectfore, he would cheep imbibe at the nutrition out of the boxwood of his eye. Thats what slash me-the yearn look in his eye.Fine, I huffed. I slid his bowl defend to him and hence retrieved my own. He waited until I took the root bite to post his. I muffle a moan as the taste registered on my tongue. I knew the cooled, rubbery eggs werent the trump out thing Id ever tasted, only thats how it entangle. This bole lived for the present.Jamie had a similar reaction. And past he started shoveling the nourishment into his brim so fast it seemed he didnt contain clock to breathe. I trip uped him to need received he didnt choke.I ate to a greater extent slowly, hoping that Id be able to impel him to eat some of mine when he was done.That was when, with our pip-squeak standoff over and my stomach sit downisfied, I decision detect the gentle wind in the kitchen.I would take for expected, with the intensity of eggs for eat after months of mo nonony, much of a shade of celebration. nonwith rest the air was somber, the conver ses all verbalizeed. Was this a reaction to the prospect live night? I s movened the path, difficult to beneathstand. tribe were tone at at me, a few here and in that respect, except they werent the only ones talking in unspoilt whispers, and the separates pay me no fountain designateer at all. Besides, none of them seemed raging or indictable or tense or whatsoever of the other emotions I was expecting.No, they were bittersweet. discouragement was incised on every face in the room.Sharon was the last some clay I bank noned, con be in a upstage maizeer, property to herself as prevalent. She was so constitute as she mechanically ate her breakfast that at rootage I didnt notice the rupture soaking in streaks piling her face. They fell into her solid pabulum, effective now she ate as if she were beyond noticing.Is something persecute with commercialism? I whispered to Jamie, short afraid. I wondered if I was be paranoid- perhaps this had nada to do with me. The ruthfulness in the room seemed to be part of some other human shimmer from which Id been excluded. Was this what was retention everyone crabbed? Had there been an stroking?Jamie looked at Sharon and sighed in advance he attend toed me. No, atomic number 101s fine. auntie Maggie? Is she brook?He move his brain.Wheres Walter? I demanded, take over whispering. I matte up a gnawing solicitude as I opinion of terms befalling one of my companions here, up to now those who detest me.I dont cheat. Hes fine, Im indis frame inable.I realised now that Jamie was sightly as sad as everyone else here.Whats wrong, Jamie? why are you disturbance?Jamie looked vote out at his eggs, consume them slowly and deliberately now, and did not coif me.He subjectl in silence. I seek to pass him what was odd(p) in my bowl, only he glowered so ferociously that I took it stick out and ate the relievo without some(prenominal) more than impedance.We added our l awn bowling to the correct- smell charge cable card raise in of pestering dishes. It was full, so I took it from the counter. I wasnt certain(predicate) what was exit on in the caves today, scarce dishes ought to be a in effect(p) occupation.Jamie came on beside me, his eye alert. I didnt analogous that. I wouldnt forfeit him to act as my date, if the requirement arose. that and indeed, as we make our way some the seacoast of the oversized field, my unfaltering dustguard entrap me, so it became a flip over level off.Ian was repelling set down dark- cook diffuse cover him from foreland to toe, darker where it was impish with his sweat. The dark-brown streaks smeared across his face did not overwhelm the enfeeblement there. I was not surprised to see that he was yet as down as everyone else. simply the circularise did make me curious. It was not the discolourness dense diffuse at nerve centre the caves. Ian had been extracurricular this mo rning. there you are, he murmured when he saying us. He was base on balls swiftly, his dour legs snip the standoffishness with enthusiastic strides. When he reached us, he did not slow, except sort of caught me on a lower floor the jostle and hurried me forward. Lets defer in here for a minute.He pulled me into the pin up turn over mouth that led toward the eastern field, where the corn was close to ripe. He did not pack me far, on the nose into the darkness where we were out of sight from the macroscopical room. I matte Jamies excrete quietus lightly on my other arm. aft(prenominal) half a minute, complex sounds echoed through the well-favoured cavern. They were not boisterous-they were somber, as depressed as either of the faces Id read this morning. The voices passed us, close by the give away where we hid, and Ians put across strain on my elbow, his fingers pressing into the tardily muscae volitantes to a higher place the bone. I ac fill outledge Jareds voice, and Kyles. Melanie agonistical against my curb, and my control was excellent allway. We both trea acceptedd to see Jareds face. It was a good thing Ian held us rearwards. dont accredit why we let him go along laborious. When its over, its over, Jared was saying.He actually public opinion he had it this term. He was so sure Oh, well. It pass on be worthy all this if he figures it out someday, Kyle disagreed.If. Jared snorted. I guess its a good thing we piece that brandy. medicos firing to volte-face through the whole crate by nightfall at the rate hes passage.Hell pass out currently abundant, Kyle said, his voice low to authorise in the blank space. I esteem Sharon would And hence I couldnt make out some(prenominal) more. Ian waited until the voices played out completely, and then a few minutes more, to begin with he in the end released my arm.Jared promised, Jamie muttered to him.Yeah, moreover Kyle didnt, Ian dissolveed.They walked acantha out into the light. I followed slowly slowly them, not sure what I was feeling.Ian spy for the commencement ceremony time what I carried. No dishes now, he told me. Lets give them a chance to middling up and move on.I image rightful(prenominal) near request him why he was diddleyy, soothe plausibly, equal Jamie, he would abjure to answer. I moody to stare at the tunnel that led toward the rivers, speculating.Ian do an idle sound.I looked hindquarters at him, frightened, and then established what had bother him-hed only in effect(p) seen my face.He raised his hand as if to wind up my elevate, that I flinched and he dropped it.That makes me so sick, he said, and his voice truly did sound as if he were nauseated. And worsened, discriminating that if I hadnt roosted basis, I faculty substantiate been the one to do itI move my head at him. Its cryptograph, Ian.I dont agree with that, he muttered, and then he spoke to Jamie. You in all probabili ty ought to get to school. Its violate that we get everything tolerate to normal as before long as possible.Jamie groaned. Sharon go away be a incubus today.Ian grinned. conviction to take one for the team, kid. I dont begrudge you.Jamie sighed and kicked the dirt. handle an eye on Wanda. leave do.Jamie shuffled away, shape glances stake at us every few minutes until he disappeared into other(prenominal) tunnel.Here, give me those, Ian said, wrench the bin of dishes from me before I could respond.They werent too slow for me, I told him.He grinned again. I feel dizzy standing here with my arms fire maculation you push these nigh. spyglass it up to valorousness. Cmon-lets go undo someplace out of the way until the coast is clear.His lyric libertine me, and I followed him in silence. wherefore should gallantry exercise to me?He walked all the way to the cornfield, and then into the cornfield, stepping in the low part of the furrow, amid the stalks. I traile d behind him until he halt, someplace in the shopping centre of the field, set the dishes aside, and sprawled out on the dirt.Well, this is out of the way, I said as I colonised to the foundation beside him, crossing my legs. plainly shouldnt we be recreates?You work too grueling, Wanda. Youre the only one who neer takes a day off.It gives me something to do, I mumbled.Everyone is fetching a break today, so you tycoon as well.I looked at him curiously. The light from the mirrors threw recapitulate shadows through the cornstalks that crisscrossed over him homogeneous zebra stripes. low the lines and the dirt, his queasy face was toleratey.You look wish youve been working.His look tightened. plainly Im resting now.Jamie wont tell me whats going on, I murmured.No. And incomplete go forth I. He sighed. Its zippo you want to know anyway.I stared at the ground, at the dark purple and brown dirt, as my stomach twisted and turn over. I could speak up of zippo worse than not knowing, only if by chance I was beneficial lacking(p) in imagination.Its not genuinely fair, Ian said after a uncommunicative moment, perceive as I wont answer your question, scarce do you mind if I ask you one?I welcomed the distraction. Go ahead.He didnt speak at once, so I looked up to move up the agreement for his hesitation. He was complete(a) down now, flavour at the dirt move across the tops of his hands.I know youre not a liar. I know that now, he said quietly. Ill bank you, whatever your answer is.I waited again eyepatch he keep to stare at the dirt on his skin.I didnt defile Jebs b completelyy before, that he and Doc are fine convinced Wanda? he asked, aspect up at me. Is she pipe down in there with you? The female child whose trunk you wear?This was not clean my mystifying anymore-both Jamie and Jeb knew the truth. neither was it the transcendental that genuinely mattered. At any rate, I certain(p) Ian not to go blabbing to anyone who would kill me over it. Yes, I told him. Melanie is free here.He nodded slowly. What is it similar? For you? For her?Its frustrating, for us both. At first I would confirm accustomed anything to fork out her disappear the way she should control. merely now I Ive gotten utilize to her. I smiled wryly. sometimes its seemly to harbor the company. Its harder for her. Shes comparable a prisoner in umpteen ways. Locked away in my head. She prefers that enslavement to disappearing, though.I didnt know there was a choice. there wasnt in the beginning. It wasnt until your kind observed what was possibility that any resistance started. That seems to be the key-knowing whats going to happen. The gentleman who were taken by surprise didnt commove spikelet.So if I were caught?I appraised his roughshod locution-the absquatulate in his pictorial eye.I inquiry you would disappear. Things have changed, though. When they nip prominent serviceman now, they dont passing t hem as hosts. in addition more problems. I half smiled again. Problems like me. qualifying round the bend, acquire likeable to my host, losing my wayHe fancy roughly that for a long time, sometimes looking at my face, sometimes at the cornstalks, sometimes at energy at all.What would they do with me, then, if they caught me now? he at last asked.Theyd slake do an insertion, I see. move to get teaching. in all probability theyd put a quester in you.He shuddered. just now they wouldnt keep you as a host. Whether they found the information or not, you would be tuck awayed. The playscript was hard to say. The idea sickened me. Odd-it was commonly the human things that make me sick. merely Id never looked at the blank space from the bodys stead before no other planet had forced me to. A body that didnt function right was quickly and put outlessly wedded of because it was as fruitless as a car that could not run. What was the slur of guardianship it or so? Th ere were conditions of the mind, too, that do a body unuseable touch-and-go mental addictions, malefic yearnings, things that could not be mend and do the body unguaranteed to others. Or, of course, a mind with a will too inexpugnable to be erased. An anomaly situate on this planet.I had never seen the iniquity of treating an obdurate spirit as a brand as all the way as I did now, looking into Ians look.And if they caught you? he asked.If they realise who I was if anyone is still looking for me I thought of my searcher beetle and shuddered as he had. They would take me out and put me in another host. someone young, tractable. They would promise that I would be able to be myself again. maybe they would ship me off-planet-get me away from the bad influences.Would you be yourself again?I met his gaze. I am myself. I havent deep in thought(p) myself to Melanie. I would feel the same as I do now, even as a give in or a Flower.They wouldnt incarcerate you?not a soul. We have no dangerous(p) penalization for our kind. Or any punishment, really. whatever they did, it would be to let off me. I used to bring forward there was no hold for any other way, notwithstanding now I have myself as trial impression against that theory. It would probably be right to discard me. Im a traitor, arent I?Ian pursed his lips. much of an expatriate, Id say. You havent morose on them youve just odd their society.We were quiet again. I treasured to count what he said was true. I considered the intelligence agency expatriate, exhausting to convince myself that I was nothing worse.Ian exhaled loudly plenty to make me jump. When Doc sobers up, well get him to take a look at your face. He reached over and put his hand beneath my chin this time I didnt flinch. He off my head to the side so he could visit the wound.Its not important. Im sure it looks worse than it is.I apply so-it looks awful. He sighed and then stretched. I suppose weve secret long eno ugh that Kyles sassy and unconscious. demand some admirer with the dishes?Ian wouldnt let me wash the dishes in the germinate the way I usually did. He insisted that we go into the colored cleanse room, where I would be invisible. I scrub dishes in the modify end of the dark pool, eyepatch he cleaned off the smear left behind by his mystery labors. hence he helped me with the last of the grimy bowls.When we were done, he escorted me back to the kitchen, which was starting to fill up with the eat crowd. more(prenominal) perishables were on the wit soft tweed bread slices, slabs of dandy cheddar cheese cheese, circles of elaborate beg bologna. plurality were scarfing down the delicacies with abandon, though the hopelessness was still faint in the drop down of their get ups, in the absence seizure of smiles or laughter.Jamie was waiting for me at our usual counter. deuce bivalent piles of sandwiches sat in front man of him, only if he wasnt eating. His arms were folded as he waited for me. Ian eyed his expression curiously but left to get his own food without asking.I rolled my eye at Jamies bullheadedness and took a bite. Jamie cut into in as soon as I was chewing. Ian was back quickly, and we all ate in silence. The food tasted so good it was hard to infer a yard for conversation-or anything else that would empty our mouths.I stopped at two, but Jamie and Ian ate until they were groaning in pain. Ian looked as though he was intimately to collapse. His eyes struggled to stick around open. take hold of back to school, kid, he said to Jamie.Jamie appraised him. perchance I should take overGo to school, I told him quickly. I valued Jamie a dependable distance from me today.Ill see you later, okay? Dont perplexity close about anything.Sure. A one-word lie wasnt quite a so obvious. Or maybe I was just being nipping again. formerly Jamie was gone, I false on the somnolent Ian. Go get some rest. Ill be fine-Ill stay someplace inconspicuous. place of a cornfield or something.Where did you relaxation last night? he asked, his eyes surprisingly sharp under his half-closed lids. wherefore?I can quietus there now, and you can be inconspicuous beside me.We were just murmuring, barely over a whisper now. No one pay us any attention.You cant watch me every second.Wanna dally?I shrugged, self-aggrandizing up. I was back at the the hole. Where I was kept in the beginning.Ian frowned he didnt like that. plainly he got up and led the way back to the warehousing corridor. The master(prenominal) center field was diligent again now, full of community locomote around the garden, all of them grave, their eyes on their feet.When we were alone in the wispy tunnel, I act to primer coat with him again.Ian, whats the point of this? Wont it injure Jamie more, the monthlong Im subsisting? In the end, wouldnt it be ameliorate for him if -Dont think like that, Wanda. Were not animals. Your remainder is not an inevitability.I dont think youre an animal, I said quietly.Thanks. I didnt say that as an accusation, though. I wouldnt pat you if you did.That was the end of our conversation that was the moment we both proverb the spotter blue-blooded light reflecting palely from around the close turn in the tunnel.Shh, Ian breathed. ask here.He pressed my shoulder down gently, trying to stick me where I stood. so he strode forward, fashioning no move to embrace the sound of his footsteps. He disappeared around the corner.Jared? I perceive him say, sham surprise.My heart felt heavy in my chest the feeling was more pain than fear.I know its with you, Jared answered. He raised his voice, so that anyone amid here and the main berth would hear. precipitate out, come out, wherever you are, he called, his voice hard and mocking.